This challenge has been going on on social media for a while. In case you live under a rock (joking) and do not know about this challenge, it’s a challenge which started with married women putting up two photos of themselves side by side. In one photo tagged “wife”, she is dressed as a wife ( mostly conservatively). In the second photo tagged “sidechic”, she is dressed provocatively.
A lot of married women have been participating in it passing the message that they can “slay” both as a wife and as a side chic, meaning they can be their husband’s wife and also his side thing. Cool story.
Now here’s the thing. I have a problem with the way most wives are portrayed in this challenge: BORING, CONSERVATIVE, RESIGNED, OLD, SHABBY.
Are we saying once a woman gets married, her sexual appeal disappears into thin air? She starts to dress in a boring way because she is perhaps trying to cover the weight she has added mostly due to childbirth? Are we trying to say women who look drab and uninspiring do so because since they are already married, what more could they want? They are already in their husband’s house abi?
NORMALISING THE SIDECHIC SYNDROME
This is one aspect of Nigerian life that looks normal to most people. It is not out of place to see even a newly married man having a sidechic. Oh for those who don’t understand the concept of a sidechic, a SIDECHIC is a lady that is dating a man that is either in a relationship or a man that is married. Sometimes she doesn’t know that he has someone he’s dating or that he’s even married and the man is stringing her along for his selfish gains. Most times though, she knows and doesn’t see it as a big deal. There Alsace been countless cases on the news where wives have attacked their husband’s girlfriends in different ways. Sometimes the men go back home to deal with their wives for having the audacity to attack their girlfriends, after all, doesn’t she know that, “a man will be a man”? (whatever that means). If there was to be a survey, with the way things in the country are, we would discover that only few men have been totally faithful to their wives. Very few.
THE REALITY OF WIVES
Are women supposed to let themselves go after marriage and childbirth? Yes, marital responsibilities take their toll and sometimes their husband’s are not helpful around the house, so the wife doesn’t really have enough time to work out, take care of herself and “slay”. But are those good enough reasons?
Sometimes wives know about the outside threat and step up their game. They literally compete with the sidechic. They work out, trying to get fit and sexy to “get back” their husbands. Is this what marriage should be about? A wife competing with another woman for the attention of her husband? How pitiful is this?
On the other pole is the wife that has resigned herself to her fate. Her husband would always have girlfriends and she can’t do anything about that. Many now focus on their kids. They do this because they don’t want to stress themselves and their health because they KNOW that if they drop dead today, their husband would make that girlfriend his wife without blinking twice.
The Sidechic Syndrome has eaten deep into the fabric of Nigerian marriages and this is to the wife out there. You shouldn’t stop taking care of yourself because you are married or because of kids. Look good, for YOURSELF and not because you want to get your husband back from the laps of the sidechic. Take care of your mental and physical health. Take care of your body, dress well, smell nice FOR YOURSELF.
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